How Does Santa Do It?

Many of you are looking forward to Santa coming to your house on Christmas Eve. While we all know that this jolly man who loves cookies and milk, arrives in a sleigh pulled by eight reindeers, and gives gifts to good kids, have you ever wondered how he gets ready for his world-wide giving tour? And how does he know what you want and if you have been naughty or nice?

Larry Silverberg, a professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering at North Carolina State University thinks he has figured out the magical powers of our favorite red-suited gift distributor.

First he thinks that Santa has a personal antenna to every kids mind - kind of like the technology that is currently being used in cellphones. Through this he knows that Kavi in Mill Valley is hoping for a scooter, while Ellie in New York wants a new computer. Of course, the letters help too!

Then comes the question of how to get to all the kids in time. Silverberg estimates that Santa travels about 200 million miles every Christmas Eve. That's like going to Mars to see the Mars Rover! Silverberg says Santa knows how to stretch time and space, so what seems to us like one night, is longer to him, giving him enough time to slide down the hundreds of millions of chimneys and eat those yummy cookies each year.

Okay so how does he manage to fit all those toys into that small sleigh of his?Silverberg's thought of this too. He believes Santa uses nanotechnology , (devices that are built on small scales) to "grow" the gifts. He starts with natural items like candy canes and soot and reverse "grows" them, so they pop up wrapped and ready to go.

Afraid Santa won't be able to find your house? No need to fear, as Santa's sleigh is equipped with GPS (global positioning system) to make sure he won't get lost. And just in case he does, the reindeers are genetically bred to fly, balance on rooftops and see in the dark. So leave a carrot out for these hard-working animals!

"He know when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake..." Well, how does he know? It's simple: Santa has a network of antennas buried underneath the snow to receive "nice" signals and "naughty" signals. It works like a radar. And don't forget his satellites up in space!

While Silverberg seems to have uncovered all of Santa's trade secrets, he still hasn't figured out how this stout fella gets down the chimney. That is classified information known only to the elves and the man himself.

Ho! Ho! Ho! and to all a good night and Merry Christmas!